How to Be a good father
Parents and upbringing
Parents play an important role in promoting emotional, cognitive, social, language, and motor development in their children’s lives. Where research shows that parents who have an active, early role in their children’s lives enhance their growth and development.
baby’s basic needs
The first three years of a child’s life are a wonderful opportunity for parents to shape their child’s development and form healthy habits that will last a lifetime. The following are the most important things that we can provide to the child:
- Enhancing interaction: the child’s brain grows based on early experiences at home, which means that the more the child interacts, the healthier his development, and in order for the father to increase his interaction, he must respond quickly to his demands, and speak to him in a low, calm voice while descending to the child’s level as if he is involving himself in his life.
- Physical contact: Physical affection conveys love to children, which promotes their positive emotional development. This makes it imperative for the father to respond to his child’s signals and hints, and to look into his eyes, and he can also take him in his lap when playing or reading and hug him a lot, but if his child is an infant, he can massage his body as well.
- Stable relationship: Children who have a stable relationship with at least one of their parents learn faster than others, feel satisfied with themselves, and are able to form friendships more easily. Cuddle him during stressful situations like visiting the doctor. And to create an environment that allows for exploration and research.
- A safe and healthy home: A healthy and safe home environment promotes the healthy development of the child with the least amount of risk. The home must be safe and provide the child with healthy, nutritious food, and take into account staying away from food saturated with fats. The parent should also encourage him to play in the air.
- Divorce, exercise, and make sure to provide all vaccinations to the child first, and visit his doctor regularly.
- Love: Love must always be shown to children, even in hours of anger, frustration, and rebellion, as it has the ability to overcome any mistakes they make.
Strategies to deal with each age group
These are some strategies for dealing with the child according to the age stage he is going through:
Newborns up to one-year-old
At this age it is important to ensure consistency of principles; Because children at this age are disturbed and confused by change, and the father must teach his child positive behaviors and then reinforce them, in addition to modeling acceptable behaviors such as participation and empathy. It is also necessary to say “no” firmly in some situations that require it. providing calmness, safety, and understanding to help him deal with disappointments or frustrations, and it is also important to find a routine for meal times, [[How do I organize a child’s bedtime|and bedtimes], and other activities; This will help them settle in more easily and eat better under these clear routines.
Children from one year to three years
The father must provide the child at this age with opportunities to play and explore, and he must remember that bad behavior may occur due to a group of things, including boredom, hunger, extreme fatigue, or high energy, which requires addressing the cause of this behavior, as it must He must realize that the child is still not yet able to control his emotions or think logically, which requires his help in expressing his positive or negative feelings in an appropriate manner while setting clear and reasonable limits, and constantly imposing them. With the need to maintain a calm, not give in to outbursts of anger, and try to use the word “yes” more than the word “no”, even if it was “yes, after…”, while making sure to understand the cause and effect and allow him to try them safely because the child needs to fail from From time to time until he learns. The father should encourage his child to be independent in dressing, eating, etc., and provide him with time to do so and start providing reasons and information and answering “how” and “why” questions. Children often ask the same question over and over again, so he must be patient, follow his child’s progress, and encourage his imagination.
Preschool age (3-5)
At this age, the child must be helped to express his feelings, link thinking and feeling with appropriate behavior, be keen to recognize his feelings and help him deal with negative experiences such as disappointment, and bad behaviors such as anger. The child at this stage needs to know his limits, as the Unacceptable behaviors often come from being unsure about what is and isn’t allowed, and testing boundaries is normal at this age. To find out what books or other resources are available to help him, he advises that he continues to read to the child, listens to his stories, and give him plenty of time for free play; It is the activity in which he learns about himself and others.
School-age (6-12)
It is the age of setting and enforcing rules. A parent should be willing to negotiate some rules and expand boundaries as the child matures. But that does not mean negotiating rules about their safety or unacceptable behaviors. It all comes while still encouraging them to understand cause and effect.
Teenagers (13-18 years old)
It is essential that the father retains a sense of humor when speaking to his son at this stage and negotiates with him whenever possible, being absolutely clear about what is non-negotiable. Keeping in mind that mutual respect is the basis for dialogue between them and that it reinforces the apology behavior of the son by apologizing to him if he made a mistake, and respecting his privacy.
Tips for a healthy relationship with your child
Parents can build a healthy relationship with their children by following the following:
- For the father to be an example of the character he wants the child to be: He will be a role model in the attitudes and positive behaviors that are expected of him. Children carefully monitor their parents in everything they say and do. This means that the personality of the father has a tremendous impact on the personality of his child. So parents should be people their children can follow.
- Granting unconditional love: If the son does bad or unacceptable behavior, he should not be prevented from loving as a punishment for his behavior. Support him while making sure to love him through both the good times and the bad.
- Focusing on his good behavior as much as possible: this is by distinguishing the positive behaviors and actions of the child, and praising them sincerely; This would strengthen him and keep him away from the negative behaviors he commits to attract attention.
- Developing logical plans: Children love to know what is required of them, so setting a routine daily schedule that includes meal times, play times, and other daily activities will help the child feel comfortable as a result of his knowledge of what will happen later, while parents are keen on the realism of what they ask of them. their children so that they are appropriate for their age and these expectations can also be discussed with him.
- Teaching values: It is important for the child to learn the values held by the father in an easy-to-understand manner, so that he learns honesty, patience, understanding, justice, caring for others, and other values. Rather, parents must emulate these values as well; Because children are smart at watching adults’ behavior.
- Encouraging the child to take responsibility: Even children can take responsibility when they are ready. Parents should encourage them to arrange their toys, help with simple household chores, and get dressed, thus helping them to develop positive habits. But they should not expect them to do everything on their own at once.
- Enhancing his self-esteem: A child develops his sense of self through the eyes of his parents, as their words and actions affect his self-esteem. Praising a child’s achievements, no matter how small, will boost his self-confidence, and on the contrary, belittling his comments or comparing him to other children will make him feel worthless. Father must choose your words carefully, carefully.
- Allocating time for the child: Many parents find it useful to schedule time with their children, so it is suggested that you allocate one night each week in which the father and the child meet, while the father lets his son help him plan how to spend their time together. Children who do not get enough time with their parents often misbehave to get attention.
Questions that increase your knowledge of your child
Here are some questions that may be a wake-up call, so that the father decides after asking them that he needs to sit with his child and learn more about him:
Who is his best friend?
Who is his permanent hero?
What does he want to do when he grows up?
What has been his greatest accomplishments, and disappointments, in the past year?
What is the most valuable thing he owns?
What does he like most to do with the father?
What are the things that might prevent him from sleeping?
What is his favorite meal?
What would he buy if he had $20 to spend?
What is the most important thing a father needs to discuss with his child in the next six months?
Thanks
by
Safa